Saturday, January 8, 2011

When I Dreamed of Being a Horse

"Do not die before becoming the person you are meant to be. "

I found this in my notes and can’t attribute it to any one source.  But it made me pause.

When I was young, I wanted to be a horse. 

I played horses with my cousins probably from the age of 4 until I was around 8.

I know.


But it was Iowa, before Star Wars, Darth Vader, Spiderman, and Ninja Turtles.

Summer evenings, my cousins and I would pretend to be horses, trotting, galloping and whinnying around the yard.  A herd of wild stallions. (But I was a GIRL stallion.)  One unlucky cousin would have to play the rancher, trying to catch us and lead us into an imaginary pen.

During cold Iowa winters, I would gallop through the house on my hands and knees with some little cousin running after to hop on my back and ride ‘em cowboy.

I would buck them off, too wild to be tamed and tackled.

I guess a little bit of that wild horse still lives within me.

Just a little.

Refusing to be tamed and tackled

into other’s ideas of who I should be or could be.

Instead ...

I will continue to grow into the woman I am meant to be.

Whoever that person is ...

because I have not met her yet.

Have you?