Thursday, February 24, 2011

George Carlin & Me: Guiltless

I love George Carlin.

As a ninth grade dropout, he had a prolific 50-year career—which included 130 Tonight Show appearances, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, and one Supreme Court case.

That’s a lot of writing material.  Probably his best comedy was earlier than later.  But so what?   Even the later stuff is better than any comedians we have out there right now.  Jon Stewart and Robin Williams may come close, but still no match for Carlin.



But aren’t all hidden truths controversial?

Speaking of hidden truths, here is one of mine:

I don’t do guilt.

I probably have done many things in my life that I should feel guilty about. 

But I don’t.

Waste of time. 

Feeling guilty  =  feeling bad. 

And WHY would I want to feel bad??

Nope.  At 58, I can’t afford it.  Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years are speeding by like Haley's Comet.

So I'm not wasting any time feeling guilty or bad about something that I did or didn’t do because someone thinks I should or shouldn’t have done it differently.

It’s done.  I’m over it.  Move on.

So, dear friends, I don't waste my time feeling guilty about ....

... being on a sunny island when it is bejeezus cold back home
... drinking a Bloody Mary before noon
... being environmentally unfriendly on occasion
... not making my bed some mornings
... having had a higher salary than my ex
... skipping my morning exercise
... eating all the carmels in a box of chocolates
... leaving one sheet of toilet paper on the roll
... leaving my 5 year old to get on the bus by herself (don't judge, she's 23 now, she survived)
... divorcing my kids dad (BIG time no guilt here!)
... moving my kids around the country upteen times
... drinking wine, lots of wine
... taking time for me for no reason
... eating pickled pigs feet when I was a kid
... speaking the truth when others don’t want to hear it
... leaving my kids at home without a babysitter (the house didn't burn down nor injuries sustained)
... being right all the time *snort*
... making you read another list

“Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but not to where the quilt is.”

Thank you George Carlin.

I miss you.  The comedy world is a bit less funny without you.

missing the mom gene