Friday, December 17, 2010

Another Bloody Mary, Please

Alas.  Today, we are flying home from a wonderful two week break in sunny, warm Florida.  Only this time, it was sunny, but not warm.  Dipping into the 30’s in Florida is not good for us nor for the oranges.

I love flying. 

Why?

Because I get to order Bloody Mary’s. 

Because almost EVERY trip from Philly to Tampa, The Professor and I get upgraded by USAir. 

And because I get to have another FREE Bloody Mary. 

Have I said thank you to USAir lately?  THANK YOU USAir!

I do not drink Bloody Mary’s any other time than when I’m flying.  Wine is my pleasure. 

But when I fly, it’s a Bloody Mary.   
I love those little Finlandia vodkas.  Okay, maybe not top shelf vodka, but oh, so good anyway.  Bloody Mary’s seem to soothe the soul and numb the brain from whiney, ear piercing screeches of children.

And speaking of screeching children, why are children allowed to fly in Business Class?
 
Mom in 3C, please keep your child quiet. Yes, she is cute and precocious, but her ear piercing screams at you because she can't have whatever, is causing me to have very evil, evil thoughts.  Please give her a friggin lollypop so she shuts up and I'm not escorted off the plane by Philly security!  I'm just seeking a few hours of solitude.  Away from cell phones, text messages, emails and even the lure of the Internet and Angry Birds.  It is my chance to unplug and do some serious thinking.

Like, how many Bloody Mary’s does it take to silence the sounds of your child.

Maybe we should put a little Finlandia vodka in HER sippy cup.

And to put it into perspective, should you be thinking I'm a child-hating booze drinking mid-lifer, you know it’s really bad when the ATTENDANT tells you she wishes she had some ear muffs when offering you a fourth Bloody Mary!

Yours truly,
Missing the Mom Gene

1 comment:

Ryan Elizabeth said...

I agree 100%! I also thought children weren't allowed in business class, maybe it's just 1st class? Bribery is good in small doses & so is alcohol!