Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Santa Amazon

It is less than 10 days before Christmas and I have finished my shopping.  You say “What?”

Yep, all done. 

No holiday crowds for me.

No blaring loudspeakers announcing “Red light special in Aisle 6.”

No muzak music of holiday tunes  or “Ho, Ho, Ho’s” by skinny Santas ringing their bells for money.

No waiting in lines and becoming best friends with someone called Bubba.

No sitting with my flashers on waiting for a parking spot only to have it stolen by a car load of teenagers.

No wrapping and shipping and waiting at the post office 20 people deep.

And best of all, no sales tax!

My shopping is all done, my presents have already arrived or are on their way to their destinations and I am relaxing poolside, on vacation in sunny Florida, having my second cup of coffee and my most difficult decision of the day will be what to have for dinner this evening. 

Don’t hate me.  I’m here to tell you that there is an easier way to all this Christmas gift-giving madness.

You have two options:

One, do NOTHING. 

Or.

Two ... ASK them what they want and then let your fingers do the clicking at Amazon.com.


It’s that simple.  Amazon. A six-letter word that can change your life.

Years ago, I decided to begin ASKING my family what they wanted for Christmas.  It was only out of fear that if I did NOTHING that they would disown me and  I would end up alone, turning into one of those cat loving agoraphobic hoarders.

I would give my kids the Sunday ad sections and ask them to circle one item they wanted.  It was difficult for them.  So many wonderful, joy fulfilling toys to choose from.  They would spend hours daily looking at the pictures.  They would come to me, informing me that it was too hard to pick just one, that there were three or four that they just couldn’t decide between.

“Just one.  If you pick several, Santa will think you are greedy and bring you nothing.”

“A real Santa would never do that,” they echoed back at me.  “You’re Santa and you’re just plain mean.”

Yep. Guilty on both counts. 

Usually the items they chose were the ones displaying the broadest smiling kids.  Of course.  That toy would certainly make them happy.

I so hated the Holiday crowds that I would postpone my shopping until the very last week, scrambling from store to store trying to locate that one item, that one impossible item, that my kids couldn’t live without. 

Most times I failed.  Usually the toy was sold out by the time I got around to shopping.  So I substituted with something close to the original item.  And as you know, substituting with a Cabbage Patch doll for a Charlie’s Angel fashion doll or a Lincoln Log cabin instead of Legos is just not the same.  I was usually hated every Christmas morning.

But not anymore.

Thanks to Al Gore for inventing the internet, I can now ask my grown children to email me their Christmas choices.  In fact, due to my lack of Christmas cheer and poor gift selections in the past, my children have made it even easier for me, guaranteeing no substitutions.  They send me the actual Amazon link of each item and all I have to do is click and purchase and send. 

Thank you, Jeff Bezos, for bringing joy back into the Holidays for me and my family.  I think they are beginning to love me again.

As Always,
Missing the Mom Gene

1 comment:

Celia said...

I love this part:

“Just one. If you pick several, Santa will think you are greedy and bring you nothing.”
“A real Santa would never do that,” they echoed back at me. “You’re Santa and you’re just plain mean.”

Smart kids. Plus their mom's pretty funny. Love the blog so far. Keep it coming, MTMG!