Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A backyard named blackmail


Yesterday, I ran out of my regular bird food.  

Not thinking it would matter, I decided to use some old birdseed from a few years ago when I did not have as many regular feathered visitors.  I guess I thought that a substitute would serve just fine.  But, like Tennessee Williams' Streetcar Named Desire, there simply is no substitute for what one desires.

Stella Starling:  We have company coming, Stanley.  Brush your hair down.

Stanley Starling:  Stella!  Quit bossin' me around!

Stella Starling:  Well, hello Blanche!

Blanche Starling:  Stella, my dear, it is so good to see you!  Seems like I haven't seen you forever!

Stella Starling:  Not since our nest days, my dear friend!

Blanche Starling:  Oh, my, your feathers have come in so fine!

Stella Starling:  Well, thank you dear.  So what do we owe the pleasure of you and your friends' visit, Blanche?

Blanche Starling:  Well, have you noticed the change in this House Lady's backyard?

Stella Starling:  Change?  Not really.  We just arrived here today.

Blanche Starling:  Well, take a look over there at those feeders.  House Lady has slipped in some awful bad bird seed.  It's causing such a stir!  Everybody's cranky and grouchy and just darn feisty!  Just look at Marlon and Karl down there going at it!

Marlon Starling:  Karl, you best get outta here or I'll lay some kung fu on ya!

Karl Starling:  Marlon, I'm not afraid of you!  You're just a big ole bully!

Marlon Starling:  I warned ya ... I'm coming down hard on ya, boy!

Stanley Starling:  You girls need to figure out something soon or those two are going to kill each other!

Harold Starling:  My, this is such fresh water you have here.  Do you mind if I freshen up a bit.  It was a bit of a fly to get here since we had breakfast over at the Williams' house.

Blanche Starling:   For goodness sakes, Harold.  We have serious business here!

Stella Starling:  Oh my Blanche!  We had no idea!  We came here to feed cause we had heard nothing but good things about this backyard.  What can we do?

Blanche Starling:  I say we strike!  No more pretty poses until we get better food!

Stella Starling:  Great idea, Blanche!  Let's call her out!

Blanche Starling:  HEY HOUSE LADY!  We need to talk!

Me:  My goodness, starlings, what's all the ruckus here!

Blanche Starling:  House Lady, this no-good-for-nothing birdseed is not fit for consumption by us birds!  It's so bad, even the squirrels won't touch it!

Me:  Really?  That bad?  I had been wondering where the squirrels had been lately.  The birdseed was on sale and I thought, well .....  it just all seemed to be the same to me.

Blanche Starling:  Well, give it to the horses!  We're not stopping by any more until it's changed!  None of us!  We'll go on strike and that'll be the end of that blog thingy of yours!

Me:  Okay, okay!  I'm sorry!  Heading out right now to get the good stuff!  Jeez!

Stella Starling:  Ha! Ha! Ha!  Sure got her wrapped around our pinkie toes!

Blanche Starling:  Humans.  They're such an easy mark!  And yet ....  I have always depended on the kindness of them!

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