Rita Red Squirrel (who is hanging out on House Lady's deck): So House Lady, I hear you're known for handing out some goodies to us handsome critters.
Me: So where did you hear that, Ms. Red Squirrel?
Rita Red Squirrel: Oh, we have our sources. Just cause we are up here in Maine doesn't mean word doesn't spread about you softie Philly types.
Me: You know, I can't be supporting two households ... there is a limit to generosity!
Rita Red Squirrel: Oh, but look at me! I am sooo much cuter than those common grey squirrels! Besides, I'm smaller and I won't eat near as much.
Me: Well, you are kind of cute so I guess a little bit of seed can't hurt.
Rita Red Squirrel: Gee umpa pazootie! You serve the really good stuff! Hey cuz, come on over ... you won't believe the smorgasbord this lady serves up!
Cuz Carla Red Squirrel (who has suddenly shown up below the railing where Rita Red Squirrel sits): I'm right below you, girl! Drop me some!
Me: Oh now wait just a frickin' minute! I thought there was only ONE of you. I can't be supporting your whole kin!
Cuz Carla Red Squirrel: Lady, look at this cuteness! And these toes! How can you resist?
Me: Okay, you're right. You are, after all, so dam cute! So what's your preference? Sunflower seed or peanuts?
~ ~ ~
(Oh, dear readers, is there a Squirrel Feeders Anonymous group nearby!)