Rocky Squirrel: Hey hey hey hey house lady .... somebody has been eating your hostas!
Me: Oh, no, not again!
Rocky Squirrel: Yes sirreeee! I saw that Bambi hanging out munching away the other night. But she only got a few ... cause I stormed down from my nest and chased her off!
Darth Vader Squirrel: He sooooo did not. I was the one who chased her off. Cause of my dark complexion, I was able to sneak up on Bambi and bite her foot. You should have seen her run!
Me: Really? Very brave of you but that wasn't really very nice.
Pope Cardinal: Shut up you bickering squirrels. There's a bigger problem here.
Frieda Finch: Yes, yes, listen to the Pope! Listen to the Pope!
Red-bellied-Woodpecker Harry: Oh for God's sake, Frieda, shut up!
Me: Fred and Fannie Finch, what are you whispering about?
Fred Finch: Well, Bambi took off so fast, Theo Thumper was left in the dust ... or more accurately, in the hostas.
Fannie Finch: (giggle) Oh Fred, you're so funny. Yes, poor little Theo Thumper was left behind. He's homeless!
Me: Oh for heaven's sakes! Poor Theo Thumper! Where is he?
Theo Thumper: Here I am!!! Here I am!! I wasn't sure that you would be glad to see me.
Theo Thumper: I've been sleeping in the bushes over there cause I'm lost and don't know how to get home.
Pidgeon Pearl: I'll offer you my nest. I'm going to be out of town for a few days looking for that no good husband of mine who flew the coop!
Theo Thumper: Well, that's mighty kind of you m'am!
Fannie Finch: Does this mean I have to share my bath?
Charlie Chickadee: I just left home so I can't help you.
Rocky Squirrel: I'm not sharing this spot under the feeder. It's all mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Carmen Chipmunk: I'm still building my nest. Anyway, I don't think you'd fit in my door.
Me: You're all not being very friendly to Theo Thumper!
Theo Thumper: Oh, that's okay.
Theo Thumper: There's plenty of food around here though. This is mighty tasty. What is it?
Me: Uh ... it's a Hibiscus which I just bought ... I sure wish you wouldn't eat on it ...
Theo Thumper: Oh, I'm sorry ... sometimes I just can't help myself ... I just begin foraging without asking.
Fabio Finch: Hey house lady ... there's a new guy in town! Look at that tail. What's up with that?
Me: Finch, be kind now ....
Fabio Finch: Wa ha ha ha ha ...
Rocky Squirrel: Hey man, that's just not right.
Rocky Squirrel: I'm outa here ... he's got the scurvies!
Theo Thumper: Well, that was rude.
Me: Mmmmm..... yes ...... but what about you? Evening is coming and you have no place to stay.
Theo Thumper: Oh, that's okay ... there's plenty of places for me to hide and there's that lovely garden in case I get hungry. I'm sure later tonight, Bambi will be back.
Me: (sigh) Yes ... that's what I thought.
PS. Names were changed to protect the guilty and photos were taken behind the safety of my windows today.
PSS. This is the first time I've ever seen a rabbit in our yard! I'm sure it is because our Travis Beagle is no longer here to patrol.
Me: Right Travis McGee?
Travis: Ruff ... Ruff... Ruff!