If I could talk to the animals ...

Rocky Squirrel: Hey hey hey hey house lady .... somebody has been eating your hostas!

Me:  Oh, no, not again!  

Rocky Squirrel:  Yes sirreeee!   I saw that Bambi hanging out munching away the other night.  But she only got a few ... cause I stormed down from my nest and chased her off!

Darth Vader Squirrel:  He sooooo did not.  I was the one who chased her off.  Cause of my dark complexion, I was able to sneak up on Bambi and bite her foot.  You should have seen her run! 

Me:  Really?  Very brave of you but that wasn't really very nice.

Pope Cardinal:  Shut up you bickering squirrels.  There's a bigger problem here.

Frieda Finch: Yes, yes, listen to the Pope!  Listen to the Pope!

 Red-bellied-Woodpecker Harry: Oh for God's sake, Frieda, shut up!

Me:  Fred and Fannie Finch, what are you whispering about?

Fred Finch:  Well, Bambi took off so fast, Theo Thumper was left in the dust ... or more accurately, in the hostas.

Fannie Finch:  (giggle) Oh Fred, you're so funny. Yes, poor little Theo Thumper was left behind.  He's homeless!

Me:  Oh for heaven's sakes!  Poor Theo Thumper!  Where is he?

 Theo Thumper: Here I am!!!  Here I am!!  I wasn't sure that you would be glad to see me.

Theo Thumper:  I've been sleeping in the bushes over there cause I'm lost and don't know how to get home.

Pidgeon Pearl:  I'll offer you my nest.  I'm going to be out of town for a few days looking for that no good husband of mine who flew the coop!

Theo Thumper:  Well, that's mighty kind of you m'am!

 Fannie Finch:  Does this mean I have to share my bath?

 Charlie Chickadee:  I just left home so I can't help you.

Rocky Squirrel:  I'm not sharing this spot under the feeder.  It's all mine!  Mine!  Mine!  Mine!

 Carmen Chipmunk:  I'm still building my nest.  Anyway, I don't think you'd fit in my door.

Me:  You're all not being very friendly to Theo Thumper!

Theo Thumper:  Oh, that's okay.

Theo Thumper:  There's plenty of food around here though.  This is mighty tasty.  What is it?

Me:  Uh ... it's a Hibiscus which I just bought ... I sure wish you wouldn't eat on it ... 

Theo Thumper:  Oh, I'm sorry ... sometimes I just can't help myself ... I just begin foraging without asking.

Fabio Finch: Hey house lady ... there's a new guy in town!  Look at that tail.  What's up with that?

Me:  Finch, be kind now ....

Fabio Finch:  Wa ha ha ha ha ...

Rocky Squirrel:  Hey man, that's just not right.

Rocky Squirrel:  I'm outa here ... he's got the scurvies!

Theo Thumper:  Well, that was rude.

Me:  Mmmmm..... yes ...... but what about you?  Evening is coming and you have no place to stay.

Theo Thumper:  Oh, that's okay ... there's plenty of places for me to hide and there's that lovely garden in case I get hungry.  I'm sure later tonight, Bambi will be back.

Me:  (sigh) Yes ... that's what I thought.


PS. Names were changed to protect the guilty and photos were taken behind the safety of my windows today.

PSS.  This is the first time I've ever seen a rabbit in our yard!  I'm sure it is because our Travis Beagle is no longer here to patrol. 

Me:  Right Travis McGee? 

Travis:  Ruff ... Ruff... Ruff!