Wednesday, June 22, 2011

If I could talk to the animals ...

Rocky Squirrel: Hey hey hey hey house lady .... somebody has been eating your hostas!

Me:  Oh, no, not again!  

Rocky Squirrel:  Yes sirreeee!   I saw that Bambi hanging out munching away the other night.  But she only got a few ... cause I stormed down from my nest and chased her off!

Darth Vader Squirrel:  He sooooo did not.  I was the one who chased her off.  Cause of my dark complexion, I was able to sneak up on Bambi and bite her foot.  You should have seen her run! 

Me:  Really?  Very brave of you but that wasn't really very nice.

Pope Cardinal:  Shut up you bickering squirrels.  There's a bigger problem here.

Frieda Finch: Yes, yes, listen to the Pope!  Listen to the Pope!

 Red-bellied-Woodpecker Harry: Oh for God's sake, Frieda, shut up!

Me:  Fred and Fannie Finch, what are you whispering about?

Fred Finch:  Well, Bambi took off so fast, Theo Thumper was left in the dust ... or more accurately, in the hostas.

Fannie Finch:  (giggle) Oh Fred, you're so funny. Yes, poor little Theo Thumper was left behind.  He's homeless!

Me:  Oh for heaven's sakes!  Poor Theo Thumper!  Where is he?

 Theo Thumper: Here I am!!!  Here I am!!  I wasn't sure that you would be glad to see me.

Theo ThumperI've been sleeping in the bushes over there cause I'm lost and don't know how to get home.

Pidgeon Pearl:  I'll offer you my nest.  I'm going to be out of town for a few days looking for that no good husband of mine who flew the coop!

Theo ThumperWell, that's mighty kind of you m'am!

 Fannie Finch:  Does this mean I have to share my bath?

 Charlie Chickadee:  I just left home so I can't help you.

Rocky SquirrelI'm not sharing this spot under the feeder.  It's all mine!  Mine!  Mine!  Mine!

 Carmen ChipmunkI'm still building my nest.  Anyway, I don't think you'd fit in my door.

MeYou're all not being very friendly to Theo Thumper!

Theo ThumperOh, that's okay.

Theo ThumperThere's plenty of food around here though.  This is mighty tasty.  What is it?

Me Uh ... it's a Hibiscus which I just bought ... I sure wish you wouldn't eat on it ... 

Theo ThumperOh, I'm sorry ... sometimes I just can't help myself ... I just begin foraging without asking.

Fabio Finch: Hey house lady ... there's a new guy in town!  Look at that tail.  What's up with that?

MeFinch, be kind now ....

Fabio FinchWa ha ha ha ha ...

Rocky Squirrel:  Hey man, that's just not right.

Rocky Squirrel:  I'm outa here ... he's got the scurvies!

Theo Thumper:  Well, that was rude.

MeMmmmm..... yes ...... but what about you?  Evening is coming and you have no place to stay.

Theo ThumperOh, that's okay ... there's plenty of places for me to hide and there's that lovely garden in case I get hungry.  I'm sure later tonight, Bambi will be back.

Me(sigh) Yes ... that's what I thought.

PS. Names were changed to protect the guilty and photos were taken behind the safety of my windows today.

PSS.  This is the first time I've ever seen a rabbit in our yard!  I'm sure it is because our Travis Beagle is no longer here to patrol. 

Me:  Right Travis McGee? 

Travis:  Ruff ... Ruff... Ruff!